Category Archives: responsibility

Dramas: Loving Me & The Things I Hate About Me

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I hate that I’m the one to always reach out…

…that I seem to love harder than ppl seem 2 love me…
…that my heart is as big and as open as it is…and that I can’t help but show it…
…that I cry over the sunrise and Kleenex commercials…
…that I am either hot or cold…
…that there is no gray area…
…that I am so expressive…
…that I oftentimes want more for others than they want for themselves…
…that I find it easier to encourage/support others more than I encourage/support myself…
…that I…
…that I still struggle with loving the things I hate about myself.
But because I realize Who created me, I am learning to love me, and all of the things I hate about me…
…because all of these things, are what make me me.
I understand that my heart is open in a world so easily closed off to the warmth of a full heart…

…that people may not know how to love…
…that maybe I can show them how…
…that God gave me arms for reaching…especially for those who pull away…
…that it’s my responsibility to teach people how to love me…
…that sometimes, people want more for me than I want for myself…
…that people know they can count on me for encouragement and support…
…I am learning to love me…in spite of me.

To love me just as God created me to be.
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#NaturalHair – The New Bougie

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Note:  If you would prefer to view the vlog based on this same topic, please see the video below! 😉

I have recently had mixed emotions about the sudden “trend” of sisters wearing natural hair as I have worn my hair natural for the majority of my adult life after completing my first “big chop” when I was 15 years old — before there was ever a big chop to be had.
With recent popularity, I found that I began to take a somewhat elitist stance on natural hair, making me no better than the sisters who choose to go natural or even rock a “bald head” because it’s the current “in” thing to do. I was no better than the hair care/beauty industries, magazines and advertisers who are riding this new wave to capitalize on the trend.  

I had to take a step back and realize that, from pop culture to politics, sometimes it takes a trend or a “fad” to generate change in the hearts of even one person and in turn, that one person can be the spark that revolutionizes the world.

So, who am I to keep the trend from growing into a true way of life?
As I’ve grown as a woman and a “naturalista”, I am dedicated to not only sharing with sisters the truth that “good hair is healthy hair” and that natural hair is healthier hair but that living a healthy lifestyle overall enhances our beauty in ways that go well beyond the way we wear our hair.
I’m no “natural hair Nazi” who feels that all women should wear natural hair. My concern is for sisters who feel they can’t wear natural hair and be beautiful; those who feel their hair has to be “relaxed” to be “good”. My issue is the same for sisters who feel they have to wear make-up, weave, false lashes…
But this isn’t about them right now…

This is about us. This is about those of us who have somehow managed to “recondition” our minds to understand that we don’t have to maintain societal standards of beauty. Thisis about our position and the power that we have to encourage those sisters who are still growing in their hair journey.
How dare we take an elitist stance on something that many of us struggled with ourselves? Many not so long ago…
Most of us were raised by generations of women who depended on lye, weaves and wigs to fit into European standards of beauty. As sisters attempt to renew their thinking, they should not feel alienated because they haven’t “arrived” to where you are in your natural hair revolution!
As with any other area of life, growth and revelation are an ongoing process. For those of us who have found comfort and confidence in our own natural texture of hair, we should be encouraging our sisters in every way possible to feel beautiful, regardless of their current position in life.
                                                                                          
We don’t want sisters to fail to see all of the benefits and beauty that comes with being natural. We don’t want our lifestyle to not be received, or even considered, because of an uppity, belittling attitude towards those who are still growing with us. As with anything, presentation is everything.

***Quick sidenote/example: I hate math. Always have and I’m certain I always will. Regardless of how I feel about the subject, math was an important part of my intellectual, scholastic and social development.
As much as I disliked math, I wasn’t a total failure at because every so often, I would be assigned to a teacher who was willing to be patient and work with my non-mathematical mind, presenting equations and formulas in a way that I would understand and receive. Their angle made the difference. Many were able to make it so that I actually enjoyed the class! Who would have ever thought…?
So, bottom line: Get over yourself. In all things you do, seek to inspire others to be their best and to recognize the beauty that was planted within them when they were created. Sisters have it hard enough without us tearing one another down.
May the trend continue to grow and may the revolution begin with you! To my sisters considering going natural, welcome to the club! Don’t stop til you get enough! *cues MJ*

Six Ways to Receive Your Harvest (Pastor Isaac Pitre of Christ Nations Church, Texarkana, TX)

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I had to revisit this from last year! The Word of God stays TRUE!

I declare: From this day on, I walk in revelation knowledge of the Word.

First of all, we cannot stay at home and reap. Just like a farmer cannot sow from sitting around doing nothing, neither shall he receive a harvest without action! Psalm 6:6-9 speaks to the life of the sluggard and shows us the truth that poverty will fall upon those who are unwilling to work.

With that being said, we must truly gain an understanding of this truth: 

EVERY time we give, it IS given back to us! If we don’t discern how we’re receiving it, we will MISS the harvest!

1) Unexpected Income – We all like the idea of receiving random, unexpected money in the mail, but this is actually the LEAST of the harvest…however, it is VERY possible (I’m a witness!)

2) Favor – God speaking to somebody to do you good! Don’t miss your favor! If you are a giver, SOMEBODY around you is trying to favor you! FOLLOW THE FAVOR!

The key to this is also one of the GREATEST areas of harvest that we can receive. If we don’t have relationships with PEOPLE, how can God use others to extend His favor? We have to be in a position to receive and that always begins with our attitudes towards others.

3) Relationships and CONNECTIONS – Again, your harvest is in the hands of PEOPLE! If you don’t discern your relationships…YOU’LL MISS YOUR HARVEST. 

4) Opportunities – Open doors. When a GOD ORDAINED DOOR OPENS, WALK IN IT! 

5) Ideas, Visions, Dreams and Plans – God will continue to bless us with ideas that can be used to build up the Kingdom. When we sow, God sees our level of spiritual maturity and sees that once we are obedient with a little.

6) Divine Obedience to Assignments – Give into the Kingdom! Whatever you give, YOU WILL PROSPER!

We so often miss our harvest because it comes in unexpected “packages”. If you sow, ALWAYS look to receive your harvest! As with all things, practice discernment so you don’t MISS IT!?

Another word from Pastor Pitre: ‘Be Seated’

Spirit vs. Stars – What Rules You?

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Hi…my name is Nina, and I’m a Cancer. In this truth, I recognize that I am an emotional, sensitive, energetic, loving, nurturing being who has been known to hide in a hard shell (often a shell of sarcasm) when trouble arises instead of dealing with my emotions.  I’m that sister who seems to have it together and be strong when really, I’m the type to cry over anything and my feelings, get hurt easily. 

“Cancer motto could be, “A good defense is the best offense.” Like a Crab in its cave, your attack can consist of baiting your opponent into your territory. What appears to be a retreat to others can be your best aggressive tactic. As you feel your way through life, building your security by developing your home and family relationships, remember that unexpressed anger can turn into resentment and depression, so find someone you can trust and share your feelings.”

Your Biggest Strength: Your ability to nurture others
Your Potential Weakness: Fear of the past repeating in the future
Hi…my name is Nina and I’m a follower of Christ and am filled with His Spirit.  Because of THIStruth, I am learning that I must make a CONSCIOUS effort to walk according to the Spirit, NOT the stars.

Even when dealing with the most painful feelings, I am learning to walk in love, patience, kindness…to suffer long…to practice self-control (to include emotional responsibility). This is not always easy considering I’ve always been encouraged to express myself. In my adult life, I still find myself seeking a balance between the best and the worst parts of me. This is when walking according to the Spirit is evermore important.
Math bears truth – Two plus two does indeed equal four.

Science bears truth – Gravity is REAL.

The moon circles the earth. Its pull raises the tide. Its cycle works within women of a certain age.

This is truth.

Astrology bears truth. The stars continuously align while time as we know it continues on and with those alignments, energies from outside of us play a part in being who God created us to be.

The difference between Nina who is a Cancer and Nina who is a child of God is the Truth that I CHOOSE to live according to. No horoscope is going to tell me how my day is going to go when I live according to plan greater than what our natural mind can comprehend. 

Just because my mind doesn’t fully understand the equations that make up mathematics, doesn’t make their outcome any less TRUE.

Knowing that my life does indeed align with the stars within Cancer, I also know that my emotions cycle with the moon and that they ebb and flow as the water. In knowing this truth I also know that I must make a concerted effort to not allow the stars to rule me but to always be ruled by the Spirit.

Let us not make excuses for our emotional irresponsibility.  Just as people use the Word to justify their behaviors and ideals, women have been known to use PMS to act like the devil once a month and people use the zodiac to their advantage…or the disadvantage of others.

*puts on churchy voice* Choose ye this day…what will you allow to rule you?