Category Archives: Peace

The Mary and Martha Within


I have been stressed.

Like, so stressed that the details of what the stress has been doing to my physical body is TMI. Lol

I have cried. Cried some more…laughed hysterically until tears overwhelmed me yet again…lost sleep, all because of my stress when it comes to what I know to be the will of God.  My life as a first time author has been exciting and exhilarating yet more stressful than even planning my own wedding just four short years ago.

God has not only provided me with awesome words to share my story, with the world but He’s also surrounded this whole project with a collective of individuals who are dedicated to make this experience a great one.  I have still had to do quite a bit on my own but the parts that were out of my hands made the process more stressful than I expected.

But if I have such an amazing team of people working with me to bring ‘Dramas of a Bald Head Queen’ to fruition, why the stress?  If I trust the connections to truly be divine, why not trust in the Divine One who established said connections to complete the work He began in me so long ago?

Just this morning, I awoke to more doubtful and wearied thoughts.  I found myself getting angry and frustrated again with…myself.

God immediately reminded me that, in order to truly rest in Him, I must place myself in the posture of worshiper.  Even as a servant seeking to do the “greater good”, bringing glory to God in the things I do and in walking according to His will, I have failed to walk in that part of servitude where I consciously worship.

Often times when we think of the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), we are able to point the finger at other individuals who we see in church or in our respective ministries who are doing “too much” yet, not enough.  God showed me this morning that this conflict has risen within me, one individual torn between walking in God’s will and sitting and taking time to worship.

THIS is where my stress has come from and today, I release it and seek to worship God wholly trusting that the things He’s called me to do will be done according to His will and the purpose He’s called me to.

So, there are two words for today 1) balance and 2) worship.

We worship God in many ways.  We worship by serving, the giving of our time, talents, ultimately and by walking in obedience.  In this world, we need to find a balance between doing {for God} and being {with God}.

Today Lord, I worship You with my heart, with my presence, with my communion with You. I love You and release the stresses that are present only in my mind and rest in You.  Amen. *BEAM*


Wednesday, September 28, 2005–Peace in the Kingdom


I have a sister who asked me to pray for her that she would get her mind off of “him”. She said she’s prayed and prayed about it herself and I realized that I had went through the same thing with my own “him” a few years back and as I was speaking this to her, it ministered to me as well:

If you’re gonna pray for the Lord to take your mind off of a person or thing, pray it once, call it done and move it forward. It didn’t make sense for me to keep going to God sayin, “oh Lord…blah, blah, blah, take my mind off him.” By continuously doing that, my mind was still on HIM!? (the very person I was “praying” I’d get over…)

Instead…to truly find peace, take more time to worship God. Tell God how amazing He is, how wonderful, how merciful. Thank Him for the good times and the lessons learned.
When we get involved in relationships, we tend to give ALL of our energy, time and emotions to that individual and to making it WORK with that individual.  If God were truly our priority, we would take the time to worship and praise God, that way we won’t even be thinking about worshipping and praising him/her.

Nothing and no one deserves all of my energy/emotions BUT God!

My favorite Scripture in life right now…Matt 6:33:
“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things will be added unto you.”

February 6, 2010–Additional thinking:
Although this original blog was in response to someone’s failed relationship, these same principles must be applied to every single area of our lives.  It is a matter of us having our priorities in order.

We have a lot to deal with in the natural world going beyond mere relationships; Finances, education, work, material things, these are all things that can take a toll on our spiritual stability and maturity if we keep our sights on them and not on our life’s purpose and on God.

Seek ye first…

How Do I See Me?


Peaceful, fragrant, in love with God, knowing Him more. In a clean home that smells good…clean air, no excess of dust….one cat, maybe two…with my husband, candles burning throughout the house regularly, not cheap candles but Febreeze…Yankee even…Home Interiors…J. Crew sweaters, book tours, sharp hair…bangin’ brows, healthy fit body…Ann Taylor skirts, shoes of many options. Clear skin, bright eyes, always smiling, even when I’m not…lovely voice, three children…at least…supporting my husband’s business. Live shows…jazz music, traveling to see Jon in L.A., supporting the Kappa House in Philly. Degree on wall…counseling young people…loving on them whenever they need love, which is always…long walks with my husband…closing our first home, furnishing our first home…closing our second, furnishing…warm colors in the living areas…blues and purples in the bedroom…candles…ceiling fans…book of poetry…writing daily…marathon…pain and pleasure…accomplishment…reading for enjoyment. Blue water…monthly facials…Inhale…exhale…breath deep…inhale exhale…yoga expert…Pilates warrior…I’m good…I’m toned…I’m in shape. Singing, painting…yard work…visiting girlfriends…feeding the homeless…private parties…VIP…wine connoisseur…wow, I correctly spelled connoisseur…lol laughing, loving, preaching…art on walls…fire burning…visiting family…sending them money. Giving money to strangers…taking them to eat. RL…in silver…Options…standing tall…confidence…sharing my energy…positivity. Sunday mornings…inhale exhale…fruits and veggies…healthy…bike rides in the park…FAMILY. Home in Riverside Park at home…enjoying snow in Upstate NY…healthy hands…strong hands…water fountain. Trickling water…weekends in Savannah…Charleston…NYC…Chicago…DC…LA…Some random town in the country…the will of God. Speaking at conferences…collaborating on research…in sociological journals…swimming…music makes me high…

"Giving Credit Where Credit is Due"


This note was originally in response to a note on Facebook by a young lady named Rochelle but after being “checked” by facebook and getting my looong reply shut down, I decided to just write a note myself. And then it turned into a blog!??!?!

This note is not dedicated to only Rochelle, but to anyone who is currently in any sort of “romantic” relationship and if you’re not and you read this, I pray that the words will be useful to your life somewhere in your future…


First of all, I’d like to commend you for giving credit where credit is due. Our men need to hear us admit that we are wrong (when we are wrong). It takes a strong person to humble themselves and admit when we have hurt someone else, regardless of the reason…I am SO very glad for one line that you said in this note…a lot of it was important, very important, but the number one thing for you to always remember is that you DESERVE to be loved!? No matter what you’ve done, what’s been done to you or even who you give love to, you deserve to be loved, respected, cared for…all of those things that your heart desires and your life needs, you deserve.

Don’t you dare ever settle for anything less…and just like you deserve all of these things, so do our men. Women often get caught up in wanting so much “respect” that we forget to give it. We are used to seeing our mothers, aunts, sisters, friends being the victims of “no good men” that being disrespected has become the expectation. Don’t ever let this be your expectation…but in order to receive, you’ve gotta give.

I wish I could meet this young man…and hope that I can some day…in the meanwhile I pray that you two are walking in God’s will and that you are learning to COMMUNICATE. Communication is the ultimate key to any relationship. People think the key is trust but if you are communicating, the trust will be established. Others think it’s good sex…um…if you’re communicating, the sex will BE. GOOD. (When it’s time of course!!!!??? Ha!)

The only way armies can be effective in war is with open, clear lines of communication. Without communication, there is no unity, without unity, the battle will be lost…Understand that relationships, marriages in particular, are ordained by God and they represent His relationship with us. Anything that looks like God, the enemy wants to destroy. This is why relationships are always attacked. This is why the divorce rate is so high, in this country in particular…because we are at “war”.

I don’t mean to get all “spooky” or “religious” on you but for real, take a look at the relationships of those around you and even your own and ask what is it that causes any drama that we/they encounter? Most times, it will be miscommunication that leads to arguments, fights or whatever…I could go on and on, but I’m tired *looks at clock* so, I’ll leave you with this…

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT) 2 “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”