Category Archives: pain

Weather the Storm

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We collided

Fast and free
As storms do
I, high and dry out of the Midwest,
You, laying low on the east coast
Neither meteorologist nor cupid could have predicted
And neither did we
Eyes wide open to the colors on the horizon
Watching each other from across the room
Who knew that our fronts would collide creating a storm like no other?
I, hoping my sunny smile would break through the clouds
Your eyes dark, holding back nightmares like pending rain
You still keep watch as night falls
Sleepless
The stillness of the air
The calm before the storm forbids your sleep
You’re the watchman
I often wondered, in your midnight, as I lay dreaming of blue skies
Did you see the destruction coming?
Did the darkness of the night bring daydreams?
Maybe you saw that we wouldn’t weather the storm
We didn’t trust that we could dance in the rain together
In unison
Step by step
Matching the rhythm of each drop
Swaying with the breeze
Instead, we loved hard
Energies clashing
Igniting lightning strikes
Our love sparked wild fires
Passion burning fervently
Consuming everything in its path
Leaving behind earth so fertile
We could feed nations from its fruit
But you ran for cover
Running when my winds blew too hard
Carrying emotions you weren’t prepared to weather
Another storm, on the horizon
I didn’t recognize that your habit of leaving
Pennies tossed about the bedroom floor
Was evidence of the hail storms that had bruised your heart
No insurance adjuster could add up the damage
But I
I wanted to melt your chilled heart  
My love luminous rainbows
Vibrant colors painted by rogue sunrays shine through
You as daggered ‘cicles clinging dangerously from rooftops
There’s beauty locked within that cold, hard core
And just like a tornado you
Rush in
Unannounced
Turning my world upside down in the most beautiful way
Tumultuously
You love me
And leave
Your presence fleeting like the seasons
Until the next time our fronts collide again

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Alone With Self and Consequences

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This poem was written years ago but will finally be put into print with many others in my new book, “Heart of a Queen – Poetry and Prose from the Soul” coming January 2013
I think I’ll sit atop trees to cry these tears of mine so that people may say,
“Oh, it’s raining again,” instead of, “damn, she’s crying again?”
I sometimes wish that a thousand bugs would crawl across my skin
Leaving small bumps as evidence of their feeding so that I could think of that and not of you…
I want to drink until I black out so that I may have no remembrance of the look in your eyes the first time we met.
I wish that scientist and surgeons would all come together to perform a revolutionary procedure removing all memories of you and me that are still creeping around in my mind…
I would like to be circumcised so that I may never touch myself again in an attempt to relive how it felt to make love to you…
I at times desire to have my hearing lost so that I cannot hear when people ask if I’ve seen you, or how have you been?  Because I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!
I want to have my hands removed so that I might not reach for you…as you walk on by…
© Nina Brewton 2012

A Name is More Than Just a Name: Nina = Grace (Hebrew)

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I am finally glad that God made me the type of person to be a friend to people even when they’re don’t act like friends to me. Growing up, my being gracious made me feel weak & vulnerable. Although I am a “social butterfly”, I oftentimes found myself hurt & feeling alone.

As a woman growing in God’s will, I understand the importance of being that gracious person. I understand the freedom that comes from extending grace to those whom I call friend. Even more importantly, I thank God that people know that they can depend on me no matter what.

I’ve grown to understand that sometimes, people don’t really know how to be real friends because they too have been hurt and instead of loving harder, they keep people at a distance, they hurt others, adopting the concept of “misery loves company”. Even still, sometimes, people don’t recognize they’re even hurting you.

And so, to those who have called me friend over the years but have shown me less than the love they say they have, it’s okay…*smiling at God* …don’t see me as weak. I am far from lonely. And even though the actions of others still hurts at times, I have all that I need. Most importantly, I have the grace of God & His love in my heart that allows me to pour the same grace & love onto others who have need…

With all of that being said: I♥YOU

Your friend,

Nina