Category Archives: love

Weather the Storm

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We collided

Fast and free
As storms do
I, high and dry out of the Midwest,
You, laying low on the east coast
Neither meteorologist nor cupid could have predicted
And neither did we
Eyes wide open to the colors on the horizon
Watching each other from across the room
Who knew that our fronts would collide creating a storm like no other?
I, hoping my sunny smile would break through the clouds
Your eyes dark, holding back nightmares like pending rain
You still keep watch as night falls
Sleepless
The stillness of the air
The calm before the storm forbids your sleep
You’re the watchman
I often wondered, in your midnight, as I lay dreaming of blue skies
Did you see the destruction coming?
Did the darkness of the night bring daydreams?
Maybe you saw that we wouldn’t weather the storm
We didn’t trust that we could dance in the rain together
In unison
Step by step
Matching the rhythm of each drop
Swaying with the breeze
Instead, we loved hard
Energies clashing
Igniting lightning strikes
Our love sparked wild fires
Passion burning fervently
Consuming everything in its path
Leaving behind earth so fertile
We could feed nations from its fruit
But you ran for cover
Running when my winds blew too hard
Carrying emotions you weren’t prepared to weather
Another storm, on the horizon
I didn’t recognize that your habit of leaving
Pennies tossed about the bedroom floor
Was evidence of the hail storms that had bruised your heart
No insurance adjuster could add up the damage
But I
I wanted to melt your chilled heart  
My love luminous rainbows
Vibrant colors painted by rogue sunrays shine through
You as daggered ‘cicles clinging dangerously from rooftops
There’s beauty locked within that cold, hard core
And just like a tornado you
Rush in
Unannounced
Turning my world upside down in the most beautiful way
Tumultuously
You love me
And leave
Your presence fleeting like the seasons
Until the next time our fronts collide again

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*BEAM*

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Then the sun showed up
Kissing me ever so deeply
Illuminating me from the inside out
Driving clouded melancholy from my heart
Bringing peace to my mind
Just like that, began a rhythm
Through me shone Love like the one you lost, only real
And I give it to you with every smile
You’re left inspired to kiss another, ever so deeply
Beginning with the sunshine in your eyes
From ‘Heart of a Queen – Poetry and Prose from the Soul’ 


Alone With Self and Consequences

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This poem was written years ago but will finally be put into print with many others in my new book, “Heart of a Queen – Poetry and Prose from the Soul” coming January 2013
I think I’ll sit atop trees to cry these tears of mine so that people may say,
“Oh, it’s raining again,” instead of, “damn, she’s crying again?”
I sometimes wish that a thousand bugs would crawl across my skin
Leaving small bumps as evidence of their feeding so that I could think of that and not of you…
I want to drink until I black out so that I may have no remembrance of the look in your eyes the first time we met.
I wish that scientist and surgeons would all come together to perform a revolutionary procedure removing all memories of you and me that are still creeping around in my mind…
I would like to be circumcised so that I may never touch myself again in an attempt to relive how it felt to make love to you…
I at times desire to have my hearing lost so that I cannot hear when people ask if I’ve seen you, or how have you been?  Because I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!
I want to have my hands removed so that I might not reach for you…as you walk on by…
© Nina Brewton 2012

Dramas: Loving Me & The Things I Hate About Me

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I hate that I’m the one to always reach out…

…that I seem to love harder than ppl seem 2 love me…
…that my heart is as big and as open as it is…and that I can’t help but show it…
…that I cry over the sunrise and Kleenex commercials…
…that I am either hot or cold…
…that there is no gray area…
…that I am so expressive…
…that I oftentimes want more for others than they want for themselves…
…that I find it easier to encourage/support others more than I encourage/support myself…
…that I…
…that I still struggle with loving the things I hate about myself.
But because I realize Who created me, I am learning to love me, and all of the things I hate about me…
…because all of these things, are what make me me.
I understand that my heart is open in a world so easily closed off to the warmth of a full heart…

…that people may not know how to love…
…that maybe I can show them how…
…that God gave me arms for reaching…especially for those who pull away…
…that it’s my responsibility to teach people how to love me…
…that sometimes, people want more for me than I want for myself…
…that people know they can count on me for encouragement and support…
…I am learning to love me…in spite of me.

To love me just as God created me to be.

Positivity: Muting the Case of the Mondays

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So, as I build my life as a writer and speaker, I work full-time as an “Assistant Production Coordinator” for a production company here in Hampton. In other words, I’m a receptionist. 🙂

Some wouldn’t think this job very glamorous, and they’d think right but I must say, I love my job and the people I work with. Besides having the freedom to write and work on my creative life freely, I am constantly supporting a company and individuals who work directly with the likes of Harpo Productions, Discovery Communications and Sony Records to name a few.

In other words, I’m cool by association, even as a measly receptionist.

Truth is, I have over 10 years of experience in administrative support and my heart for serving people helps me to keep things in perspective when I think about the careers that my peers have as full-time artists, educators, etc…

Over the years, God has shown me that my position, wherever I am, goes well beyond answering phones, keeping the calendars of executives and distributing mail. I have embraced my position recognizing the opportunity that I have daily to enhance the lives of those I work with. By simply being ME I am able to meet simple needs of stressed out producers, editors and researchers both in house and around the country.

Prime example: When I answer the phone at work declare, “Happy Monday! Thank you for calling…this is Nina. How may I help you?” *BEAM*

“Happy Monday!” normally catches people off guard. After giving pause, many callers express their appreciation for my enthusiasm!

Every day I seek to make someone’s day brighter in whatever way I can, even if that means helping them to get over their “case of the Mondays”! Those who question my energy on Mondays will see that if they call on Tuesday, Wednesday or any other day, I generally share this same energy every morning even though I’m not a “morning person”.

My thinking: Why be miserable JUST because it’s Monday?

Monday is just ONE of seven days that we get and is a day wasted if we allow it to be. So, we’ve been told that THIS is how we are to treat Mondays…or how we should let it treat us. Mondays are a part of time which is continuous & out of our control. What we DO with this time is up to us!

How we FEEL about time, in this case, Mondays, is up to US! So, with that being said, HAPPY MONDAY!

Make the most out of every day that you’re blessed to live and every task given to your hands!

BE{AM} BE inspired as iAM inspired! #iShineYouShine

Spirit vs. Stars – What Rules You?

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Hi…my name is Nina, and I’m a Cancer. In this truth, I recognize that I am an emotional, sensitive, energetic, loving, nurturing being who has been known to hide in a hard shell (often a shell of sarcasm) when trouble arises instead of dealing with my emotions.  I’m that sister who seems to have it together and be strong when really, I’m the type to cry over anything and my feelings, get hurt easily. 

“Cancer motto could be, “A good defense is the best offense.” Like a Crab in its cave, your attack can consist of baiting your opponent into your territory. What appears to be a retreat to others can be your best aggressive tactic. As you feel your way through life, building your security by developing your home and family relationships, remember that unexpressed anger can turn into resentment and depression, so find someone you can trust and share your feelings.”

Your Biggest Strength: Your ability to nurture others
Your Potential Weakness: Fear of the past repeating in the future
Hi…my name is Nina and I’m a follower of Christ and am filled with His Spirit.  Because of THIStruth, I am learning that I must make a CONSCIOUS effort to walk according to the Spirit, NOT the stars.

Even when dealing with the most painful feelings, I am learning to walk in love, patience, kindness…to suffer long…to practice self-control (to include emotional responsibility). This is not always easy considering I’ve always been encouraged to express myself. In my adult life, I still find myself seeking a balance between the best and the worst parts of me. This is when walking according to the Spirit is evermore important.
Math bears truth – Two plus two does indeed equal four.

Science bears truth – Gravity is REAL.

The moon circles the earth. Its pull raises the tide. Its cycle works within women of a certain age.

This is truth.

Astrology bears truth. The stars continuously align while time as we know it continues on and with those alignments, energies from outside of us play a part in being who God created us to be.

The difference between Nina who is a Cancer and Nina who is a child of God is the Truth that I CHOOSE to live according to. No horoscope is going to tell me how my day is going to go when I live according to plan greater than what our natural mind can comprehend. 

Just because my mind doesn’t fully understand the equations that make up mathematics, doesn’t make their outcome any less TRUE.

Knowing that my life does indeed align with the stars within Cancer, I also know that my emotions cycle with the moon and that they ebb and flow as the water. In knowing this truth I also know that I must make a concerted effort to not allow the stars to rule me but to always be ruled by the Spirit.

Let us not make excuses for our emotional irresponsibility.  Just as people use the Word to justify their behaviors and ideals, women have been known to use PMS to act like the devil once a month and people use the zodiac to their advantage…or the disadvantage of others.

*puts on churchy voice* Choose ye this day…what will you allow to rule you?

Hear My Call – Standing On the Word

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Lord, I thank You for Your word and I stand on that word knowing that You began a good work in me and that You will see it through to the end, to perfection. Philippians 1:6


I only want you glorified in all that I do. As I seek to glorify You, this releases from me any pressure to complete anything by my own strength. I know that I am nothing without You, my Creator, my Redeemer. John 14:13


May Your Light continue to shine through me, even when my natural eyes can’t see the path illuminated before me because of doubt. Forgive me Lord for even allowing that doubt to begin to consume my mind. Matthew 5:14-16


Right now, I cast away worry, grief, doubt, every insecurity, every feeling of inadequacy and stand in Your presence giving thanks for being the loving, gracious God that You are. Mark 11:23


May others see Your goodness and love through this very situation at this very moment, may You be glorified. *exhales* ^_^

A Name is More Than Just a Name: Nina = Grace (Hebrew)

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I am finally glad that God made me the type of person to be a friend to people even when they’re don’t act like friends to me. Growing up, my being gracious made me feel weak & vulnerable. Although I am a “social butterfly”, I oftentimes found myself hurt & feeling alone.

As a woman growing in God’s will, I understand the importance of being that gracious person. I understand the freedom that comes from extending grace to those whom I call friend. Even more importantly, I thank God that people know that they can depend on me no matter what.

I’ve grown to understand that sometimes, people don’t really know how to be real friends because they too have been hurt and instead of loving harder, they keep people at a distance, they hurt others, adopting the concept of “misery loves company”. Even still, sometimes, people don’t recognize they’re even hurting you.

And so, to those who have called me friend over the years but have shown me less than the love they say they have, it’s okay…*smiling at God* …don’t see me as weak. I am far from lonely. And even though the actions of others still hurts at times, I have all that I need. Most importantly, I have the grace of God & His love in my heart that allows me to pour the same grace & love onto others who have need…

With all of that being said: I♥YOU

Your friend,

Nina

Controversy Created by the Church

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There has been a lot of talk lately (and always, I’m sure…) about gospel artists “fraternizing” with sinners/secular artists.  From the mother of The Clark Sisters and Kim Burrell being shunned and chastised by the COGIC to fans and critics worldwide causing an uproar regarding Mary Mary’s highly successful “God In Me” music video, The Church is found yet again teetering with the possibility of losing many possible disciples of Christ through their “holier than thou”, judgmental attitude.


IMO, the Church needs to stop making everything regarding all things secular so controversial. It’s “controversies” like these that keep sinners IN their sin. Show them the God you SAY is in you and let GOD do the rest…

Enjoy the video but more importantly, enjoy the message in the music!!!

Below are some comments that I left today on Mary Mary’s “God In Me” video on YouTube
ENJOY!!!

This is my first time seeing this video and I am GLAD that these ladies and their team decided to convey the message in this song the way they did. When I hear the song and watch this video, I literally think of the lyrics being directed at “The Church” sayin’, “don’t assume you know what I’m going through just because MY walk with God doesn’t look like yours.”

Yes, this song definitely speaks to the world as an invitation to the world to see what God has done for me, “the saint” but there are plenty of people in the secular world that have God in them. Are they all representing the Kingdom to the fullest? Perhaps not, but LORD KNOWS that I wasn’t either when I first got saved and I may not always do my best now!? We “…don’t know how much {they} pray, don’t know how much {they} gave, don’t know HOW MUCH {THEY’VE} CHANGED…”

Okay…this is my last comment (lol…didn’t mean to turn this into a blog!?) How many of us church folk stop to think of the act of witnessing that may come from our involvement with the secular world? Who knows what God is doing with this song and video. I love EdwardCarrillo’s comment about the Pharisees response to Jesus with sinners…THAT sir, is the best point made here. But I can’t forget @mammacita65. We must DEFINITELY check our love walk…

The Desire to "Just Be…Me"

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I remember being in that place—In love with the person I’d come to know and despising her all at the same time. I recall how it feels to teeter between loving myself just the way I was and longing to be like every girl I saw that wasn’t like me.

I was a lucky one…

…early in life, I had people telling me I was beautiful. Some teachers, my mother, my father…and perhaps at that point in life, it was simply a positive affirmation, repeated in an attempt to, “…speak those things that are not, as though they were…” And I thank them for that. I am grateful for them telling me how beautiful my smile and eyes were but I must admit, like most people during their ‘tweens, my head was too big for my body, my legs were lanky and my hair was, well, a HOT, NAPPY MESS to say the least…
But all the while, I’ve known myself to be beautiful and even though I endured years of torment on playgrounds and during various neighborhood antics, at times, led by my older brother, by age 12, I KNEW I was beautiful, even in my “ugly duckling” stage.

Last week I was visiting with a friend of mine who has a daughter on the edge of 15 and “OMG…” she’s “…fat…” as I watch her hold her “belly” which is nothing more than a finger-full of skin that she has pulled from her small frame in an attempt to find something, anything wrong with her long slender body.

Then again, last night, the same child spoke about being too thin and trying to gain weight, which we told her she didn’t need to do that age would handle that for her in due time…don’t rush it.

This showed me that we, women specifically, have a difficult time early in life learning to love ourselves just the way we are. That we don’t understand our developmental process and that no one is destined to look the EXACT same way through their whole life. We spend so many minutes within our days making excuses for why compliments given to us can’t be genuine or why we don’t deserve them because “…I need a relaxer/cut/color/need to lose weight…” instead of just appreciating who we are and thanking God that others might ever possibly see us the way God sees us…BEAUTIFUL.

The problem is, WE don’t see it so how can we possibly believe that someone else sees the beauty that we hold…?

“Nina…you know, you should grow your hair out really long and then straighten it…so that way you’ll look like a princess”, says the 14-year old. I smiled and replied, “But I like my hair just the way it is…and besides, why be a princess when you can be a queen…?” I went on to assure her that the look I have is what works best for me and that I stopped trying to look like everyone else years ago…and that she should stop now before she’s too far gone.

Love yourself.  You are the best you there could ever be…