Monthly Archives: February 2013

Weather the Storm

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We collided

Fast and free
As storms do
I, high and dry out of the Midwest,
You, laying low on the east coast
Neither meteorologist nor cupid could have predicted
And neither did we
Eyes wide open to the colors on the horizon
Watching each other from across the room
Who knew that our fronts would collide creating a storm like no other?
I, hoping my sunny smile would break through the clouds
Your eyes dark, holding back nightmares like pending rain
You still keep watch as night falls
Sleepless
The stillness of the air
The calm before the storm forbids your sleep
You’re the watchman
I often wondered, in your midnight, as I lay dreaming of blue skies
Did you see the destruction coming?
Did the darkness of the night bring daydreams?
Maybe you saw that we wouldn’t weather the storm
We didn’t trust that we could dance in the rain together
In unison
Step by step
Matching the rhythm of each drop
Swaying with the breeze
Instead, we loved hard
Energies clashing
Igniting lightning strikes
Our love sparked wild fires
Passion burning fervently
Consuming everything in its path
Leaving behind earth so fertile
We could feed nations from its fruit
But you ran for cover
Running when my winds blew too hard
Carrying emotions you weren’t prepared to weather
Another storm, on the horizon
I didn’t recognize that your habit of leaving
Pennies tossed about the bedroom floor
Was evidence of the hail storms that had bruised your heart
No insurance adjuster could add up the damage
But I
I wanted to melt your chilled heart  
My love luminous rainbows
Vibrant colors painted by rogue sunrays shine through
You as daggered ‘cicles clinging dangerously from rooftops
There’s beauty locked within that cold, hard core
And just like a tornado you
Rush in
Unannounced
Turning my world upside down in the most beautiful way
Tumultuously
You love me
And leave
Your presence fleeting like the seasons
Until the next time our fronts collide again

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Juice…FAST!

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I’m kind of a big deal. And by big deal, I mean…I’m overweight. While I have learned to stand in confidence in this skin, I know that my fluctuating weight is due to inconsistent habits when it comes to my diet and exercise. Lucky for me, my weight is distributed rather evenly across my whole body…all 210lbs of me. 
At my heaviest (two years ago), I was 225lbs and a size 18. Standing just under 5’7, my then 31 year old knees  were in pain from the extra weight. I’ve always taken pride in having good posture but with my bulging mid-section pulling my weight forward, my lower back was in constant pain leaving me sitting and walking lazily with slumped shoulders.  
In late 2011, I’d finally seemed to find my rhythm. I was running consistently with my first half marathon in sight. I got down to 190 or so and was a strong size 12…or weak 14. 😉 In April of 2012, I ran my longest run and completed the Dismal Swamp Stomp Half Marathon (13.1 miles).
Shortly thereafter, I stopped running. I stopped exercising with exception of the occasional attempt to bring yoga back into my routine…kind of. I had, again, fallen from a horse that was racing towards the beginning of a very prosperous thirty-third year of life. 
Just months before, I had fulfilled the greatest physical challenge of my life! A FULL 13.1 miles?!?! And now, I’d fallen off the horse into an onslaught of weight gain…again.
Here I am nearly a year later and have gained back a significant amount of the weight. I’m winded taking the stairs and back to a “healthy” 210lbs. So…
…now what?
I’m longing for consistency. I LOVE the way I feel when my diet and schedule are in order. I’ve found that when I’m disciplined enough to continue growing in the natural and physical, my spiritual walk is far more disciplined…and vice versa. 
I’ve began a juice detox/fast. I chose this particular fast during the Lenten because it is both physically and spiritually driven. Here it is, day two and I’m feeling good. I’ll be sharing my journey right here every with updates every Tuesday and Thursday beginning today. 
I know I’m not the only one to struggle with weight. But I’m sharing my journey with you all to help show you that, “weight” itself isn’t the issue. The greater issue lies in our inability to practice discipline and remain consistent in multiple areas of our lives. Generally, when things are out of balance, our diet and exercise are the first to suffer.
I know that right now, juicing seems to be the trendy thing to do. But sometimes, it takes the ignition of a trend to ignite real change in the hearts and minds of people. I’ve enjoyed homemade juices for years but have never committed to it (consistently…dangit. There’s that word again) for any extensive amount of time. As trendy as it may seem, I know that it’s not going to be easy.  
Check back regularly, invite friends to subscribe and join me as I am inspired to inspire!


*BEAM* 

A Stone’s Throw

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When we look at the history of human nature, we find that morals are taught…or not. Even when standards of traditional morality are ingrained into our psyche, it is only a matter of time before something or someone comes along causing us to question what’s right and what’s wrong. Such doubt knocks us off of the safety of our high horse, sending us plummeting down into a depth of emotions and insecurities only held by us mere mortals.

Ego and pride sit in, clouding our vision and our judgment, often leading us to dig holes so deep that nothing or no one but the grace of God can lift us out…

None of us know the true reasons why a person does the things they do. Although it would appear that most behaviors are acted upon out of arrogance, that’s rarely the case. Even when arrogance manifests itself, it’s generally rooted in a greater issue; a lack of confidence, knowledge of self and limited self-worth.

All things considered, we must learn to be more gracious when it comes to the failures and sins of our brothers and sisters. With the increase in social media and ease of graphic design, it is easier than ever to “call out” those who are in the wrong. What we fail to consider is that at any moment, our own discrepancies could land us on the chopping block for all to see, criticize and judge.  

I personally have never been one for “outing” anyone, adding to or spreading already ousted information. I’m of the thought that people will suffer enough with the original outing of a particular offense. Some encounter familial disgrace, others financial collapse and others still, a combination of multiple instances of discomfiture.

From international pop stars to local celebrities, right on down to the average Joe, it’s easy to point our fingers, declaring how “low down” another is. On Twitter, Instagram and everywhere else across the interwebs we, as a generation, add our own commentary in public forums. As entertaining and amusing as this behavior can be when the shoe is not on our feet, it doesn’t aid in providing a remedy for the situation or aid in the growth or rebuilding of the person(s) involved.

I also have my own issues that could very well make for a good “talk of the town” at any point in my life. We all do. And THIS is important to remember while we seek to condemn one based on our immediate opinion of them and their words/actions.

We are all but a stone’s throw away from condemnation.

*BEAM*

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Then the sun showed up
Kissing me ever so deeply
Illuminating me from the inside out
Driving clouded melancholy from my heart
Bringing peace to my mind
Just like that, began a rhythm
Through me shone Love like the one you lost, only real
And I give it to you with every smile
You’re left inspired to kiss another, ever so deeply
Beginning with the sunshine in your eyes
From ‘Heart of a Queen – Poetry and Prose from the Soul’