This note was originally in response to a note on Facebook by a young lady named Rochelle but after being “checked” by facebook and getting my looong reply shut down, I decided to just write a note myself. And then it turned into a blog!??!?!
This note is not dedicated to only Rochelle, but to anyone who is currently in any sort of “romantic” relationship and if you’re not and you read this, I pray that the words will be useful to your life somewhere in your future…
First of all, I’d like to commend you for giving credit where credit is due. Our men need to hear us admit that we are wrong (when we are wrong). It takes a strong person to humble themselves and admit when we have hurt someone else, regardless of the reason…I am SO very glad for one line that you said in this note…a lot of it was important, very important, but the number one thing for you to always remember is that you DESERVE to be loved!? No matter what you’ve done, what’s been done to you or even who you give love to, you deserve to be loved, respected, cared for…all of those things that your heart desires and your life needs, you deserve.
Don’t you dare ever settle for anything less…and just like you deserve all of these things, so do our men. Women often get caught up in wanting so much “respect” that we forget to give it. We are used to seeing our mothers, aunts, sisters, friends being the victims of “no good men” that being disrespected has become the expectation. Don’t ever let this be your expectation…but in order to receive, you’ve gotta give.
I wish I could meet this young man…and hope that I can some day…in the meanwhile I pray that you two are walking in God’s will and that you are learning to COMMUNICATE. Communication is the ultimate key to any relationship. People think the key is trust but if you are communicating, the trust will be established. Others think it’s good sex…um…if you’re communicating, the sex will BE. GOOD. (When it’s time of course!!!!??? Ha!)
The only way armies can be effective in war is with open, clear lines of communication. Without communication, there is no unity, without unity, the battle will be lost…Understand that relationships, marriages in particular, are ordained by God and they represent His relationship with us. Anything that looks like God, the enemy wants to destroy. This is why relationships are always attacked. This is why the divorce rate is so high, in this country in particular…because we are at “war”.
I don’t mean to get all “spooky” or “religious” on you but for real, take a look at the relationships of those around you and even your own and ask what is it that causes any drama that we/they encounter? Most times, it will be miscommunication that leads to arguments, fights or whatever…I could go on and on, but I’m tired *looks at clock* so, I’ll leave you with this…
Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT) 2 “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”